Carnival Ride
by sweetness2noend
Summary: All-human. Bella and Alice visit Santa Monica, CA the summer after they graduate from high school. They just wanted to have fun, they never expected to find love in the most unexpected places.
1. Chapter 1

**Pick A Pic Challenge  
Title: Carnival Ride  
Penname: sweetness2noend  
Banner: #65  
Rating/ Disclaimer: Rated T for mild language and sexual themes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.  
Summary: Bella and Alice take a trip to Santa Monica, CA, the summer after their senior year to help out Alice's Aunt Esme at her bakery. A summer filled with hurt, comfort, love, and finding their true selves. The summer of '07.  
To see all the stories that are a part of this contest please visit: www .fanfiction-challenges. blogspot. Com**

**Carnival Ride: **

Life can be like a carnival ride, never knowing if you are going up or down—a roller coaster of emotions on a never-ending track. The memories are swarming my mind from that one summer when I thought I had everything figured out. As I sit here at the café I visited so many times years before, I can't help but reminisce on my fist summer love. The summer I was glad to slow down my ride through life, the summer after I graduated from high school, the summer of '07.

Graduation came and went, which I really didn't care much about. I mean graduating from high school isn't much of a feat anymore. I was grateful to be done with my first big passage of life, but I was mostly looking forward to my next step: college. I guess you could say I did pretty well throughout high school—a 4.0 GPA and a 780 on my SAT. I had been accepted to Columbia University in New York, and even though I would be drowning in debt after graduating from college with student loans, I couldn't wait to begin my life out on my own. Well, almost on my own. My best friend Alice had also been accepted to a college in New York. Not Columbia, but a smaller school for fashion design just down the road. I was extremely grateful that we had been blessed enough to both be traveling across the country to start our new lives. We found a moderately affordable apartment almost the same distance away from each of our colleges to share, and I couldn't believe our luck.

Alice and I have been best friends since kindergarten. She came up to me on the first day of school and graciously let me know that my hair bow didn't match my outfit, and lent me her extra white one from her book bag. We have been inseparable ever since. That's what Alice has always done for me—she always had my back in any situation.

"Ready to go, Bells?" my dad, Charlie asked with a knock on my bedroom door.

"Yeah, dad. Just give me a few more minutes," I said with a smile. It was my last day in Forks. I had never been away from home for more than 2 weeks at a time, and now I wouldn't be back for 6 months.

Alice and I would spend our summer on the Santa Monica Pier in Santa Monica, CA, working at a bakery her Aunt Esme owns. We wanted to do something different for our summer after graduation, and Alice had always wanted to visit with her aunt for longer than a few days. Esme said she usually hired a few extra people for the summer anyway, and we could definitely use the extra cash to use in New York, plus it would be something new and exciting, working on a pier next to the beautiful Santa Monica beach for three months.

After a two and a half hour plane ride from Seattle to Los Angeles, we had finally made it. Alice's aunt Esme was ecstatic that we had finally arrived, and I could tell that I would really like her. She was a single woman, never been married at the age of 42, although she didn't look a day over 30. She had accomplished a lot in her lifetime—graduating from USC and opening one of the premiere bakeries in the L.A. area. She never really had time to date around or start a family, in her words… her bakery is her baby.

Esme had a beautiful house on the beach. It was a typical beach house, with light colors and an abundance of windows. It was modernly decorated and had 4 bedrooms, with a huge porch on the back with a breathtaking view. It was definitely the nicest house I had ever been in, and had to cost millions.

Our first weekend in Santa Monica was spent doing the fun, local things. Esme wanted us to be able to enjoy all the amenities that Santa Monica offered before having to spend so much time working. We visited the local aquarium, went shopping on the pier, and saw the famous Ocean Avenue.

The first day at work was a bit harsh. Summer vacation had just begun in California, and there were kids everywhere. We had taken order upon order, and I was beginning to doubt my abilities to cope with this all summer. Maybe it was just the initial summer rush and then things would cool down after a while, or maybe I would eventually get used to the hustle and bustle of California living.

It was finally close to closing time, and we were beginning to close up shop. Luckily we closed at 5, which gave Alice and me plenty of time to still be able to enjoy the pier after closing. As I was turning the sign in the window from open to close, I heard someone yelling from a distance.

"Wait, wait, Miss, please?" A younger guy's voice said, out of breath.

I looked around for where the voice was coming from, and I saw a guy running from a distance on the pier, waving his arm in the air to stop me. _If this guy thinks I'm going to hold up shop just for him to get a cupcake or two, he's got another thing coming. _I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me, pretending that I didn't hear or see him.

I heard a knock on the glass and turned to face it. That's when I saw him, the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. He was frantically knocking on the glass and saying something, but I couldn't understand him. With a sigh, I walked back towards the door to let him in. As much as I didn't want to stay late at work, I was mesmerized by his beauty, and selfishly wanted to speak to him.

"Thank you so much. I know you guys are closing, but I just really need to place an order by today," said the gorgeous guy as I unlocked the door for him. His skin was sun kissed and he had the most vivid green eyes I had ever seen. His hair was an unruly mess, with a strange yet gorgeous copper color.

"Uh, yeah sure. What can I get for ya," I finally managed to stammer out.

"I'm going to need 500 cupcakes. 250 white cake with butter cream frosting and 250 chocolate cake with vanilla frosting," he replied, still out of breath from running.

"Ok, we can do that. When do you need them by?"

"Saturday," he said while running his hand through his messy locks.

"Wait. Like, this Saturday? As in two days from now?" I asked with an agrivated look on my face. This man may be gorgeous, but there was no way in hell we could have 500 cupcakes ready in two days on top of all our other orders.

He silently nodded his head and had a crooked smile on his face.

"I really don't think that is possible, let me go get my boss," I said as I turned to go in the back room where Alice and Esme were finishing some orders for tomorrow.

"Esme? Some guy out here wants us to do 500 cupcakes by this Saturday," I told her with a sigh.

"Let me go talk to him and see what we can work out," she said as she brushed off the flour from her hands onto her pink apron.

I followed her back to the front, wanting to hear what she had to say to the guy. I really hoped she would tell him no freaking way would that be happening, because I really didn't want to have to work overtime on a Friday night.

"Oh hello, Mr. Cullen. What can I help you with today?" Esme said with a fake smile.

"I was telling your assistant here that I need 500 cupcakes by this Saturday for our 85th anniversary for the pier, but if it is a problem I can always go somewhere else," he remarked with a glare towards me.

"Not a problem at all, Mr. Cullen. What time do you need delivery?" Esme asked, still with a fake smile.

"6 p.m. under the pavilion, feel free to contact me if there are any issues," Mr. Cullen replied.

"Okay, we will be there. Have a nice night, Mr. Cullen," Esme said with a wave.

"You too, and sorry to keep you working late," he said to me as he turned to leave.

Even though this guy was inhumanly gorgeous, why did he think he could just come in here and get whatever he wanted? Guys like that really pissed me off. The arrogant ones that know how gorgeous they are and expect everyone else in the world to bend over backwards for them like they are God's gift to earth.

"Sorry about that Esme, I wasn't sure what to tell him," I apologized.

"It's no problem, Bella. Under normal circumstances we would have told them that it couldn't be done, but the Cullen's own the pier, as well as this building, so they can get whatever they want," she said with a sigh. "It's not your fault, honey; you didn't know who he was."

I wanted to ask her why it was still okay for him to think that the world revolved around him. I understood though. I'm sure they were big clients of hers, and if they owned the building her bakery was in, that also meant that they controlled how much she paid in rent. I wouldn't want to piss them off either.

After working on Mr. Cullen's stupid cupcakes for hours, we had finally finished and it was time for delivery. We delicately stacked all the boxes of cupcakes onto a dolly so that we could roll it down to the pavilion. Luckily it wouldn't be too far of a walk, but I was still nervous about rolling all the cupcakes we had spent our precious time on making down the pier.

Alice, Esme and I made the delivery, making sure everything got there ok. There were hundreds of people around and under the pavilion, ready for the anniversary celebration.

"So glad to see the main event has finally arrived," said a good looking man with light blonde hair and bright blue eyes to Esme.

"So glad that you chose us to provide for the event, Mr. Cullen," Esme replied with a blush.

"Oh, Esme, please call me Carlisle."

I could tell that Esme was smitten by this man. She was blushing, which I had never seen her do before. I couldn't say that I blamed her; the man was gorgeous. I assumed that since she called him Mr. Cullen, as well as the guy from Thursday Mr. Cullen, that they were father and son. This meant that he was the owner of the pier, and was extremely wealthy, not that Esme needed it, though.

"Good to see you again, Bella," a familiar voice said, taking me out of my trance.

"How did you know my name?" I asked the younger Mr. Cullen.

He didn't reply, just pointed to my nametag. I had forgotten I was still in my work uniform, and blushed at my stupidity.

"Oh. Um well, nice to see you again too, Mr. Cullen. Uh, hope you enjoy your cupcakes," I shyly replied as I turned to leave.

"Please," he said as he reached out to touch my arm. "Call me Edward, and aren't you going to stay for the celebration?"

"I didn't know I was invited."

"Well then consider this an invitation," he replied with a crooked smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Sure, let me go find Alice."

It wasn't hard to spot Alice. She hadn't moved far from the cupcakes, and it seemed she was mercilessly flirting with a cute guy. _Typical Alice. _

"Hey, Ali. I just got invited to stay for the celebration… what do you say?" I asked her as I approached them.

"Sounds good to me, I just got invited as well. By the way, this is Jasper Whitlock," she said, introducing us to each other. "Who asked you to stay, Bella?"

"Um, Mr. Cullen… I mean, Edward," I stammered.

Alice cocked one of her eyebrows and gave me a smile. I shook my head with a smile and turned to walk back towards Edward. Alice and I really wanted to meet some guys this summer, and I know she was thinking that these could be the guys.

After the celebration was over, Edward asked if I wanted to walk on the beach for a little while. I was not about to refuse, I was lucky enough that he was even talking to me in the first place… he was so gorgeous. Much better looking than any guy from Forks. Heck, any guy from anywhere, in my opinion.

Edward and I walked and talked for about an hour. He asked me all sorts of things about me, and I did the same with him. It was nice to get to know someone else so quickly and openly, and I knew that we would be friends throughout the summer. I felt like I could say anything to him, and he actually seemed to listen to what I had to say. In my past relationships, I had never had someone seem to care so much. The change was nice.

During our conversation, I had discovered that Edward was also 18, just graduating from a local private boys school. Jasper and he were best friends and were taking the next year off from school to travel. It seemed like so much fun, I wished I had enough money to be able to do that. I had also discovered that the pier had been in his family from the beginning, and he would someday take it over, being the only child to his father, and his father an only child as well. I was slightly intimidated at how much money they had. I was from little ole Forks, and was in no way wealthy. Edward didn't act like he had money though, he was a genuine nice person, as far as I could tell.

I couldn't help but wonder if it was all an act at first. Here was this gorgeous, rich boy, talking to me, and being the sweetest guy ever. Maybe he wasn't used to being around girls much, since he had gone to an all boys school. Or maybe, this was all a trick. Maybe he did this every summer. Find some innocent girl, sweep her off her feet, and then break her heart. I didn't want that to happen to me, I just wanted to have fun let this be the best summer of my life. If I found a summer love, cool. If not, oh well.

Edward didn't kiss me that night. At first I was slightly disappointed. I mean, who wouldn't want to kiss Edward Cullen? But then I was glad. Maybe my assumptions about him were wrong. Maybe he truly is the sweet guy he seems to be. I just didn't want to be taken advantage of, my heart was too fragile.

That's how most of the summer went. Alice and Jasper were practically inseparable, and she swore up and down that he was the one. Edward and I continued to hang out a lot, walking on the beach, riding jet skis in the ocean; he even taught me how to surf, or better yet, made an attempt. My athletic abilities always fail me.

My favorite day of the summer had to be the fourth of July. Of course the pier through a huge celebration, and had tons of fireworks to suit. We still had to work that day, but that night was spent with the 4 of us. We had all gotten pretty close, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I. Edward and jasper had set up a picnic on the beach while Alice and I were working. When we got off work, we were each greeted with a single red rose from the boys.

We made our way to the beach towards the picnic area. The sun was setting and it was a beautiful view. The beach was pretty crowded, all waiting for the firework show to being once it was nightfall. I didn't mind the crowd, though. I was just happy to be with my closest friends on a beautiful beach in California.

By then I had fallen pretty hard for Edward. Even though we had only known each other for about a month, I couldn't deny the feelings that I felt for him. He still hadn't kissed me yet, and I wasn't sure if he felt the same way or if he wanted to just be friends. Alice and jasper, however, were constantly all over each other. I was happy for them, but honestly a little jealous that I didn't have that with Edward.

We all sat down and enjoyed each other's company while eating the sandwiches, fruit, and cheesecake that the boys had graciously provided. Just when we finished, the firework shows was beginning.

It was beautiful. The most extravagant firework display I had ever seen. It seemed to be lasting forever, and I was getting tired from sitting and looking up. I maneuvered myself in front of where Edward was sitting, and layed down on the blanket with my head in Edward's lap. I hoped that it wasn't too forward of me, but he seemed to not mind.

I looked up at him, staring into his emerald eyes. He reached down to play with my hair, and gave me that crooked smile that I loved so much. Even if Edward didn't like me as much as I liked him, I hoped this meant that he at least liked me a little. After he ran his fingers through my hair for a few minutes, he gently lifted my head off of his lap and laid down to the left of me on the blanket.

The fireworks were still going, and I was mesmerized by the brightness and beauty of them. I felt Edward's hand gently reach out and rub my thumb, silently asking permission to hold my hand. I happily obliged, opening my hand to join with his. I could've lived in that moment forever. Even though we were only holding hands, I just felt so _loved. _I could tell that the show was about to end, because it seemed to be the grand finale. There were flashing lights everywhere, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Sure is beautiful," Edward whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, I could watch fireworks for hours," I smiled.

"Oh, the fireworks are nice too, but I wasn't talking about them," he said as he turned and reached out with his other hand to push my hair behind my ear. He was now slightly hovering over me, gazing at me.

I gave him a look of confusion, and he started to chuckle. "I was talking about you, Isabella," he said with his smile that I loved so much. I hated when people called me by my full name, but this time I didn't mind too much.

"Happy fourth, baby," he said as he leaned down towards my lips. His lips lightly brushed mine, and I gladly returned the kiss. I wanted more than just a peck, and hungrily pressed my lips back against his. He slightly opened his mouth, letting my tongue enter. It was by far the best kiss I had ever had in my entire life. There was so much passion behind it, and I felt so cared for and cherished. We kissed for a while, way after the fireworks were over and after most of the crowd had left. I didn't mind one bit that most of Santa Monica had seen me kissing Edward, they were probably all just jealous, anyway.

The rest of the summer was spent in similar ways. Edward and I never put a label to what we were, we were just happy to be together. Alice and Jasper were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, promising each other that they would stay together after the summer had ended. I wasn't sure about Edward and I.

That summer I gave Edward everything: my time, friendship, trust, heart, and virginity. I had promised myself that I would wait until I was in love to give my virginity away, and I was without a doubt head over heels in love with Edward Cullen. Everything about him was absolutely perfect, and I was not looking towards the day that I would have to say goodbye.

The end of the summer came, and Edward and I promised to keep in touch with each other, but we knew staying together would mostly be useless. Edward would be traveling all over the world and I would be in New York. It would be way too hard to try to keep in touch on a regular basis with Edward traveling so much, and I wanted him to be able to enjoy his trip without feeling like he had a commitment to me. Alice and Jasper would try to stay together, and honestly I think that they would. As much as I wanted to stay with Edward, I really didn't think that either one of us could handle a long distance relationship, and I needed to put all of my focus on school.

The goodbye was sad; I wasn't sure if I would ever see Edward again. My heart was breaking, but I tried not to show it. We shared our last night together wrapped up in each other's arms under the sheets in Edward's bed, trying to embed the memory of the way we felt deep into our minds so hopefully we would never forget.

Alice and I had a great time in New York. Jasper and she had stayed together through it all, and Jasper moved to New York after he returned from backpacking through Europe with Edward. Edward returned to California, helping his dad with the pier as well as going to school at USC. We had stayed in touch through the years, but we were never as close as we had been that summer. Through the years, we never saw each other. Jasper and Alice would visit California every now and then, but I never went with them. I didn't know if I wanted to see Edward again. I knew we couldn't be together, and seeing him would only make things harder.

Back to present day:

So, here I am, sitting in the old café we all visited so much that one summer. Esme and Carlisle are finally getting married, and she insisted that I be here for the wedding. I hadn't talked to Edward in over a year, but once I agreed to come to the wedding I knew I would be seeing him anyway. I asked him to meet me here, hoping things wouldn't be too awkward between us. There were so many things I wanted to ask… so many things I still wondered about. I don't know if things will ever rekindle with us, I just want to be happy in life. I will just continue to ride on the wheel of the world, never knowing where it will take me next, on my carnival ride through life.

**A/N: This one- shot is slightly based on the song "Wheel of the World" by Carrie Underwood. **

**Based on the response I get from this, I may expand it and make it its own story. Let me know what you think, and please vote! Thanks so much for reading! oh, and this wasn't Beta'd, so please forgive me for any mistakes **


	2. Chapter 2: Rolling in the Deep

**Chapter 2: Rolling in the Deep**

_In the previous chapter: So, here I am, sitting in the old café we all visited so much that one summer. Esme and Carlisle are finally getting married, and she insisted that I be here for the wedding. I hadn't talked to Edward in over a year, but once I agreed to come to the wedding I knew I would be seeing him anyway. I asked him to meet me here, hoping things wouldn't be too awkward between us. There were so many things I wanted to ask… so many things I still wondered about. I don't know if things will ever rekindle with us, I just want to be happy in life. I will just continue to ride on the wheel of the world, never knowing where it will take me next, on my carnival ride through life._

I had been there for 15 minutes. I was always early. I couldn't dwindle my nerves no matter how hard I tried. Alice had to talk me into doing this in the first place. After all, I hadn't even spoken to Edward in over a year, but I knew that it would be better to get the nerves out and talk to him alone before I saw him with the rest of our friends. My legs were crossed and my foot was anxiously jiggling, lightly tapping the metal leg that held up the table. I was nervously strumming my fingernails on the table top, and was biting down on my lip, my number one nervous habit.

"They always say people never change, and you just proved to me that they are correct," that velvet voice that I knew so well said from the side of the table. I was so nervous and lost in my thought that I didn't even notice him standing there.

He looked the same, but _better. _ God, how could he look better? A little more muscular and a little bit of scruff does Edward _good. _

I stood up quickly. Should I shake his hand? Give him a hug? I had no clue. Luckily, Edward pulled me into an embraced and lightly kissed my cheek. _Mmmm he smelled so good. _

"It's so good to see you, Edward," I said with a smile as I sat back down.

"You too, Bella," he said with his beautiful smile. "How have you been? It's been what, over a year?

_A year and 4 weeks… but who was counting?_

"Yeah! Um, I've been good. I just got my bachelor's in English and plan on continuing with my master's in the fall. What about you?"

Edward and I continued our casual conversation for about an hour. He told me that he would be finishing up with his undergrad in December and planned on taking over the pier in the spring. Carlisle and Esme were going to retire early and do some traveling. We exchanged stories of our college years, his in L.A. and mine in New York. We laughed about the summer we met, sharing stories and memories. We spoke of Alice and Jasper and how we both thought that he would be putting a ring on her finger soon. It honestly felt like nothing had changed between us, we were just a little older and wiser now…well, older at least.

Edward received a phone call and excused himself. I pulled out my phone and texted Alice. I knew she was wondering how everything was going.

**Edward is pretty much the same. And when I say pretty… I mean**_** PrEtTy ;0**_ **–B**

I'm sure Alice would understand what I meant by that. Edward was beyond gorgeous. He did something to me that no other man had been able to do. Whenever I was near him, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. I had such a _pull _towards him, and I couldn't figure out why. I had dated a few guys in college, and yeah, they were attractive, but there was no _spark. _With Edward, it was like the fourth of July 24/7, and we didn't even have to kiss.

After another minute or two, he returned to the table. "I'm so sorry about that, Bella. I hate to do this, but something has come up and I've got to run. I'm sorry I've had to cut our time short. It was good to catch up though. See you tonight?" he said rather quickly, a bit frazzled.

"Um yeah! It's fine, see you tonight," I said with a smile.

He returned the smile, gave me a quick wave, and made his way out of the door. It seemed kind of weird to me that he had to leave all of a sudden, but maybe he had to go do something last minute for the rehearsal dinner tonight.

I made my way back to the hotel that all of the wedding festivities would take place. Of course the hotel was a 5-star that costs over $600 a night to stay in. But what did it matter when you were Carlisle Cullen and owned one of the oldest establishments in Santa Monica?

I finally made it up to the 23rd floor, where Alice's and my room was. She and Jasper were sitting on the couch, watching tv on the huge flat screen that was in our room.

"You're back early, Bella," Alice remarked.

"Yeah, Edward got a phone call and had to leave quickly, so I just decided to come back here," I said with a shrug.

"Ah, I'm sure he just had to do something last minute for Carlisle," Jasper said with a smile.

"I'm glad you're back early! Esme just called and wants us to go to the spa with her in about an hour. Don't you just love spas!" Alice asked excitedly.

I had never been to a spa, but it sounded fun. I hated how much Esme was already spending on us though; I was worried she was pampering us too much and not herself enough. That's how Esme was, so thoughtful and generous and never put herself first.

Esme was really like a mother to me, considering I hadn't spoken to mine in over 4 years. A type of person like Esme deserved to be a mother, but was not able to have kids. That was something I could never wrap my mind around. But, I guess it was a good thing she didn't already have kids. I think Alice and I took the place of that. Alice's mom had passed away our senior year of high school, and Esme was always there for Alice, trying to lessen the sorrow of losing her sister as best she could.

So, an hour later came, and Alice and I made our way down to the lavish spa in the hotel. There were serene waterfalls surrounding the front desk, and the whole room had stacked rock walls and soft music was playing. Esme was already there waiting for us, with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh girls, I'm so glad to see you two!" she said as she pulled us both into a warm embrace.

We were at the spa for 3 hours, getting a massage, a facial, and waxing… which hurt like _hell_, but Alice and Esme insisted on the bikini wax. Not sure why they were pushing it so much though, I really didn't think I would getting any action soon.

I loved having the time to catch up with Esme. We had spoken on the phone weekly, but it was just so much nicer to do it in person.

"So, Bella, tell us how it went with Edward earlier," Esme said as she sipped on her champagne while we were relaxing by the pool after our massage.

"Um, it was good. He had to leave rather suddenly, but it was good," I said with a soft smile.

"I hope it wasn't that bitch Tanya ordering him to her beck and call," Esme said while rolling her eyes.

I had never heard Esme call anyone a bitch, and I had no idea who Tanya was. "Who is Tanya?" I had to ask.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey, I figured he would have told you. Tanya is Edward's on again off again girlfriend. She's just a little spoiled brat if you ask me, but for some reason Edward can't see it," Esme said with a sigh. "I really thought he would have told you, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I shouldn't have said anything," she said as she patted my leg.

"No, Esme, it's fine. I'm glad you told me… that way, there are no surprises later, right?" I was reassuring myself, but it really baffled me as to why Edward never brought it up earlier. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me? But I would see her tonight with Edward anyway, right?

"Who knows what is going through that boys head," Alice said with a smirk. "You will just have to look extra sexy tonight and make him fall head over heels for you again and then he will leave that floozy on her ass!"

I rolled my eyes at Alice's remark. This girl was probably drop dead gorgeous and a super model in comparison to me. I just had to stop thinking about Edward and everything we once had. That was four _years _ago. A lot of things change in four years and I should have never came here with the hopes of maybe rekindling something with Edward. I mean, I had an on again, off again boyfriend right now too, he was just currently _off. _

Jake and I had met about 2 years ago in one of my classes. He was such a gentleman, always opening the door for me and carrying my things. Chivalry was not dead in his eyes, and I was instantly attracted to him. Even though he was extremely handsome, he was still nothing in comparison to Edward, but he was a good guy and good to me, and that's the most important thing. At least I think.

We dated seriously for about a year and a half, and he started talking about marriage and it scared the living shit out of me. I was surprised at how worked up I became over the thought of becoming Jake's wife. I mean, he was about to graduate college with a degree in business, I'm sure he would find a great job and make good money; we got along great, my friends and family loved him, _I _loved him, but there was just something that wasn't right.

I broke up with Jake a few weeks after he started talking about marriage. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was starting to even have _panic attacks_ over it. I had never in my life had a panic attack, and I had started to just convince myself that I am destined to be alone. Maybe I just couldn't handle the stress of becoming someone's "Mrs.". Or maybe I just couldn't handle the stress of becoming Jake's "Mrs.".

Alice had tried to get me to start dating again, but I just didn't want to. I still spoke to Jake at least once a week, and he told me repeatedly that he would always be waiting for me. He was too good to me and I didn't deserve him. I tried to tell him to move on and look for someone that wanted to be a wife, but he refused. We have been broken up for about 6 months now and I'm still clueless as to what to do.

Part of me hoped that coming here and seeing Edward would help. _Boy was I wrong. _Now I'm even more confused than before, but I shouldn't be. Edward has a girlfriend now, and apparently, he has fallen for her, hard. Maybe this vacation was what I needed to see that I am ready to marry Jake. _Maybe. _

A/N: Okay, I posted this fic a while ago, originally for a one-shot contest, BUT… it has been on my mind lately so I thought I would continue it. It won't be super long… maybe 6 or 7 chapters… I just feel like I left it hanging and I want to finish it. I plan on finishing this and my other stories this summer as well *fingers crossed*. Anyway, please comment and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


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